TT

Bakit "TT" ang tawag sa male sex organ?

Kasi pag may hubad
TAYO ngTAYO

Pag excited
TIGAS ngTIGAS


Pag natapos
TULO ngTULO


o ikaw,
TT rin...


TAWA ngTAWA!

rmember 2 thiNgs in Life

aLways rmember 2 thiNgs in Life..





dNt tke any dcisi0ns weN u r anGry







&





dNt mKe any pr0mises wen u r hapPy! Godbless.!Ü

Cge FRND

NaNAY: Hala cge!layas! D k n mgbalik dri sa balay! Sug0d sub0ng, d nko pgtawga nanay,d mn ko mgtawg cmu anak, kaintindi k?!







ANAK: Cge FRND, lakat nko..

math class

S math class.

Titser: Juan, kung ako'y my 5 n ank s unang aswa at 10 nman pnglwa, at 3 sa pangatlo mron akong..?


Juan: kalandian!! Isa kang kerengkeng mam! Ü

temptations

THOUGHT FOR TODAY:"Do not worry about avoiding sexual temptations. As u grow older, they will start to avoid y0u" :p

amputation

Doctor's letter
to patient:

Dear sir,
lab results
confirm that the
red rash around
ur penis was
not cancer but
lipstick..Our
apologies 4 d



amputation...ü

BreAk na

w/0ut r0mancE
Luv geTs dRy,


w/0uT rEspect
Luv gEts L0st,


w/oUt carinG
Luv getS b0riNg,


w/0ut h0nesTy
Luv geTs unhaPi,


w/0uT sEx,
puta BreAk na!

heart or brain?

i mEt
A
crAzY
mAn..
&
i
aSk
Him,
'wiCh S gr8r,
hEarT
oR
bRaiN?
hE
aNsWrd
Me
LaFing
"i L0sT
mY
brAiN
bCz Of
Luv,
Bt i
LoSt
My Luv
bCz
i FoLowd
My BrAiN.."

dN't chnge topic

A
husbnd
cAme
hoM
4am
&
saw
his
wifE
n
beD
w/
anOdr
man.
His
wifE
shouTd
at
him:
"Wr hv u bin?"
Husbnd:
"hu's dt man?"
Wyf:
"ay GraBe ka!

dN't chnge topic!"ö

KANAL

Paano kung
d kn
marunong
mgmahal?
Tapos,
dumatng
ang taong
mag22ro sau.
Mnahal ka ña
at
nahulog
ka







SA KANAL

PAN0 NA?


Eh mabah0 ka na...!

stay happy

Happiness is never lost.if u jst know wer 2 look 4 it..its always in ur heart.wer love hope, trust live.stay happy 4 that's wat i wanted u 2 bbb.güd morning!

Bolahan ka RIZAL

Bolahan ka
RIZAL
ky ara
ka sa piso!
Bolahan ka
RIZAL
ky hero ka
sng Filipino!
Bolahan ka
RIZAL
ky ikaw
my munumento!
P
E
R
O
MALAS KA
RIZAL
KY PIT0Y
MO CMENTO

DEM0LITI0N TEAM.

Anak: Itay,hndi
aq mkaisk0r s
sy0ta q dhl ung
panty nya,my
nklgay n
"n0 trespasing.
private pr0prty"

tatay: E d Lgyan m0
ung brief m0 ng


"DEM0LITI0N TEAM."

bulak2

Bkt bulak2
ang kdlsang
dsign s panty?


kc. .



alay s mga
ptay n
buh0k!





Eh bkt s
brief wla?


kc. .


Mr0n ng
nkatrik n
kandila. .
My alay png
itl0g!HeHe

bird & flower

SON: mami, ba't upo mo bird ni dadi?
MOM: tago ko sa flower ko para di kita.
SON: si yaya iba, sa bibig tago bird ni dadi, tapos si dadi kausap flower ni yaya..

Smoker"s Style

Why is position 69 in Sex called Smoker"s Style?




Ans: While she is enjoying the Cigar, he is busy cleaning the Ashtray...

Alcoholic drinks r bad 4 my legs

AT A BAR...

Guy: Can l buy u a drink?
Girl: No u can't. Alcoholic drinks r bad 4 my legs.

Guy: Why? Do dey swell?
Girl: No, dey spread...

hahaha!

Useless schooling

Females r also nakkalito. Dey wer educated w/ alphabet,trained 2 speak in school.But wen they make love, they say nothing but Ah,Eh,Ih,Oh,Uh. Useless schooling.

Vegetarian women

Why are Vegetarian women silent during sex?
Ans: Because they are in shock that a piece of meat can give them so much pleasure! (",)

Away sang c0nd0m kag nApKiN

sabi ng
c0nd0m sa
nApKiN,
"pag nagtrabaho ka,nawa2Lan aQ ng negosyo w/ in 7days!"

sagot ng nApKiN,
"tangina m0! pg pumalpak ka, 9months 2mitigil negosyo ko!"

AMPUTATION

Nurse letter
to patient:

Dear sir,
Lab results
confirmed that
the red rashes
around your
penis was
NOT CANCER
but LIPSTICK.
Our apologies for the AMPUTATION.

Down d rver

Behnd
d hills
of dfculty
lies
a
valley
of
SUCCESS...
Wthin
a
valley
lies
a
rver
of
hope...
Down
d rver
u'l
fnd,


tilapia, gurami, pantat, haluan,

Hehehe.

backwrd life cycle

Its a cool one: It would make more sense if the life cycle was all backwrds.U shud die 1st,get it out of d way.Den u live in an old age home.U get a silver watch n u go 2 wrk.U wrk 40 yrs until u're young enuf 2 enjoy ur retirment.U do booze,chicks,u party,u get ready 4 hi skool.U go 2 grade skool,U become a kid. u play,u hav no worries.U become a little baby,u go back into d womb,spend ur last 9 mnths floatin..N u finish off as an orgasm..¤

HU'S GUILTY?

HU'S GUILTY?
wife dreamin n
d middle of d nyt
suddenly shouts
"quick, my
husband is back"


man gets up,
jumps out d
window &
realizes


damn, im d
husband..

the abnormal is reading

Normal is boring! Paranormal is shocking! Criminal is horrifying! Homosexual is bading! And now, the abnormal is reading!! Bawi ka sa iba

pmbnsng hayup

Teachr: an0 ang atng pmbnsng hayup? Ngccmula s letr K!
Studnt: kut0?
T: n0, ngta2p0s s letr W!
S: kut0w?
T: mali, may sungay t0.
S: DEMONYONG KUTOW?
T: get out!

is0g pero putyong

BANA: gha ako pnakais0g t0 sa pris0han
ASAWA: ngaman hw?
BANA: Kay ang ak0n pit0y gnatatuan
ASAWA: ang kagag0 mo,k0n ang gnpatat0 m0 gnpapaltak m0 lipay pa k0..

SARS

Mainit b ulo mo?
Palaging naka
simangot?


Pabulong
bulong habang
nagdadabog?

Pa check-up
ka na,


SARS yan.


Severe
Absence of
Romance &
SEX! =) hehe

just want 2steal u 4 a m0ment

i d0nt
intend 2take
much of ur tym,

i just want
2steal u 4
a m0ment,

check u out
& let u kn0w u
cr0ssd my mind
just n0w..
u take care ok?
ill b here
just in case Ü

i cnt aford 2 miSs

As a
kiD,
i LuvD
BIG gfts
bt i
bLo0md
LeRnin
dt d bSt
gFts
c0m n
smoL
b0xeS.
LYK U!
i mAy
jZ
hv
sm0L
tym
hvn u
bt ur
gFt of
FrndShp
s d 1
i cnt
aford 2 miSs!!Ü

craulo at my topak

¡sa s
pnkdak¡lng
b¡ya2 n
ntangap k
ay ang
mgng
bhag¡ k ng
akng buhay

dhl sau


mram¡
akng
n22nan


slmat,ka¡bgan



dhl sau


craulo at
my topak
nr¡n ako....Ü

F0R LADIES

'A man accidentally enters the ladies t0iLet,
a lady
says
"HEY!!!THIS IS
F0R LADIES!"
The man shows his penis and says,
"L00K!!!THIS IS F0R LADIES T00!Ü

Pari kg Muslim

Pari kg Muslim.
Pari: waay binutig ha, nakatilaw ka na baboy?
Muslim: oo, namit kaau. ikaw Padre, nakatilaw ka na babae?
Pari:Asus! namit pa sa baboy!!...

my favorite angel

i bliv dt
angels
dnt alwys
appear

w/ wings


sumtyms dey
exist in
d form of
humans lyk us

unconvncd?


face d miror
änd u wil c oNe of my favorite angels....

NytNyt

sLeEp WeLL,



sLeEp tYt,


sLeEP
siLeNtLy
iN2 d
NyT..

HiRs Ur kIsS..
(MwAh!)


hiRs Ur HuG!
(mMmH!)


hiRs Ur AnGeL..
(aHeM!)..


sAyiN..



NytNyt!ü

bwat b0te

Pg ikw nsktn
pnunuurin
kta umin0m
ng aLk..
cge in0m
lng ng in0m
pr0
tndaan m0
ang bwat
b0te ng
aLk n
naub0z m0..
iha2mpaz q
un s uLo ng
nanggag0
sau..!

a chance 2 knw a secret

!f
i am
gven
a chance
2
knw
a
secret..
i
wish 2
knw 0L
d things
dat
wud
giv ü
hapines..
cOz f
deRs 1
thng i wnt
4 u in dis w0rld..
8s
2 c
"yOu"
hApi=)

Ale, mango!

Nakaamoy si ngongo ng pabango sa isang tindahan. Ngongo: Ale, mango! Ale: Pabango yan, hindi alimango! Ngongo: Ale, mango! Nag-agawan sila at nabasag ito. Ngongo: Ale, masag!

Nurse ka Juan!

Juan: Pedro, nasaksak ako! Walang hinto ang tagas ng dugo. Please, call me a nurse. Call me a nurse, bilis! Pedro: Sige, you're a nurse! Nurse ka Juan! You're a nurse! Nurse kah!

wat s d title of d s0ng?

90% of asian men n w0men wen tkng a bath r msturbatng. D rmaining 10% r singing. Questn: wat s d title of d s0ng?



d mo alam n0?



sbi n nga b ksma k s 90%!Ü

Hapi new year!Ü

"Vive bene, spesso l'amore, di risata molto"...Live well, love much, laugh often. This is an old italian wish for u & ur family on d comng yrs. Hapi new year!Ü

HAPI NEW YEAR!!

Itong bagong taon, dalangin ko kay
SAN MIGUEL
na isakay ka sa
RED HORSE
patungo sa
WHITE CASTLE
dun sa
BARCELONA
para makilala ang
GENEROSO
at mabait na
EMPERADOR
na si
AMOROS0
at manood ng mga
MATADOR
habang umiinom ng
FUNDADOR!
HAPI NEW YEAR!!

Happy new year

It's been a wonderful year full of friendship and love. I'm so blessed and grateful that you are part of it. Thank you for everything. Happy new year. :-D

Happy new year

It's been a wonderful year full of friendship and love. I'm so blessed and grateful that you are part of it. Thank you for everything. Happy new year. :-D