Musta na bana ko?

Wife: Dok musta na bana ko?
Dok: Sorry, ikaw na mapaligo kag mapakaon sa iya kay utod na kamot kag tiil nya.
Wife: Ha? ANO?!
Dok: Nerbyos ka no? Pati ka na ah, Joke lang. PATAY na SYA.

pong'it

LALAKI: Kwaon q ang bituon kg ihtag sa imo

BABAE: Shut up! D mo gni mkuha ang pung'it mo! bituon pa?

LALAKI: te sori,wla q kblo nga pong'it gle gs2 mo!

The Talking Tree

i sAt undR a trEe & toLd d tree w/ tirS foLin:


"y do i alwyS gt hurt?dnt i dSrv 2b haPi?"


d tree anSwrd:


"dnt cry my dEar,eVry1 dsrVs 2b haPi & getn huRt is pRt of our Lyf,so chir uP!"

i stoOd uP,wiPe my teArs &...


ran faSt sCreamin..


"wAaHh!! Bagaat..Kahoy ghambal..! engLish pa!!"

:-)

n0byah0n

Juan:CHay, n0byah0n q b imO bATA..
Chay:nd lng anay ky g'skwela pa xa..
Juan:aw ah!t hulat0n q na lng mgbuhi cla....

relo

TEACHER: Juan late ka naman?
JUAN: late mn ni b akn relo mam!
TCHR: pwes, iadvnc mo eh! 0h diin k nmn mkd2?
JUAN: gn advnce ko na mam! mpuLi na ko ky buhi na!ü

Teacher

Tchr:wt d0 u c0l a prs0n
hu kips on tlkng evn wn pp0l r n0 l0ngr intrstd?





S2dnt:a tcher


T:mga la hUya!Get 1 hul shit of MNILA pper
L0ng quiz!bak2bak
haha

sardnas

Nanay: nak, kuhaa na2 ang sardnas kg luto a,
Anak: nay himbisan pa2?







Nanay: kuha-e nlng daun hasang kg sirik pra makumpleto ang kagago mo! ?_?whAa hEhe

(sup! sup!)

NANAY:Anak! Gadugo tudlo mo! Dal-a d kay supsupon ko. (sup! sup!) Teh wala na! Dn ka napilasan haw? ANAK: wla ko pilas ah! Gnpangtudos ko mga otol ni Browny :-p

hearing

ATTY: Pedro, ano gid bala ang natabo?

PEDR0: (hipos2 lang)

JUDGE: Pedro magsabat ka.

PEDR0: tinonto! Abi ko ya hearing lg ni,ngaa may speaking haw?

TT

Bakit "TT" ang tawag sa male sex organ?

Kasi pag may hubad
TAYO ngTAYO

Pag excited
TIGAS ngTIGAS


Pag natapos
TULO ngTULO


o ikaw,
TT rin...


TAWA ngTAWA!

Cge FRND

NaNAY: Hala cge!layas! D k n mgbalik dri sa balay! Sug0d sub0ng, d nko pgtawga nanay,d mn ko mgtawg cmu anak, kaintindi k?!







ANAK: Cge FRND, lakat nko..

math class

S math class.

Titser: Juan, kung ako'y my 5 n ank s unang aswa at 10 nman pnglwa, at 3 sa pangatlo mron akong..?


Juan: kalandian!! Isa kang kerengkeng mam! Ü

temptations

THOUGHT FOR TODAY:"Do not worry about avoiding sexual temptations. As u grow older, they will start to avoid y0u" :p

amputation

Doctor's letter
to patient:

Dear sir,
lab results
confirm that the
red rash around
ur penis was
not cancer but
lipstick..Our
apologies 4 d



amputation...ü

dN't chnge topic

A
husbnd
cAme
hoM
4am
&
saw
his
wifE
n
beD
w/
anOdr
man.
His
wifE
shouTd
at
him:
"Wr hv u bin?"
Husbnd:
"hu's dt man?"
Wyf:
"ay GraBe ka!

dN't chnge topic!"ö

KANAL

Paano kung
d kn
marunong
mgmahal?
Tapos,
dumatng
ang taong
mag22ro sau.
Mnahal ka ña
at
nahulog
ka







SA KANAL

PAN0 NA?


Eh mabah0 ka na...!

Bolahan ka RIZAL

Bolahan ka
RIZAL
ky ara
ka sa piso!
Bolahan ka
RIZAL
ky hero ka
sng Filipino!
Bolahan ka
RIZAL
ky ikaw
my munumento!
P
E
R
O
MALAS KA
RIZAL
KY PIT0Y
MO CMENTO

DEM0LITI0N TEAM.

Anak: Itay,hndi
aq mkaisk0r s
sy0ta q dhl ung
panty nya,my
nklgay n
"n0 trespasing.
private pr0prty"

tatay: E d Lgyan m0
ung brief m0 ng


"DEM0LITI0N TEAM."

Away sang c0nd0m kag nApKiN

sabi ng
c0nd0m sa
nApKiN,
"pag nagtrabaho ka,nawa2Lan aQ ng negosyo w/ in 7days!"

sagot ng nApKiN,
"tangina m0! pg pumalpak ka, 9months 2mitigil negosyo ko!"

AMPUTATION

Nurse letter
to patient:

Dear sir,
Lab results
confirmed that
the red rashes
around your
penis was
NOT CANCER
but LIPSTICK.
Our apologies for the AMPUTATION.